weathering the storm

for those who misconstrue.
you do, somewhat. but that's really mostly my fault. i've been delinquent in my writing for the past week because i've been a busy bee. you see, it all started when i finally met some people my own age. for the first time in months, i was able to exhale and sit on someone's couch and drink a cider and listen to old friends talk about their brother's awful cars and how they rode to school in winter in a convertable. and it was nice to be accepted into that. it felt so very normal that for a moment, i forgot that i'm the odd man out. that combined itself with the next evening of intense inspiration, sitting again, listening again, but this time to two artists who i was only so lucky to see. and again, it was so normal, and so beautiful, and it made me want to make beautiful things with myself. and then on top of that the next night i make strides in being that person, pittering away with senora, practicing my trilling rs, adding a little spice into this pale sea-water eyed body of mine. and then yet the next night i ran to another piece of me, this time with the dogs and the children and their eyes lit up, despite the pain they were going through and i knew that this was just as important as the other things and something that made me feel deeply. and yet the next night i was in another new place, with other friends, for them, eating free food and looking at totally foreign design elements that i could never afford. but i was recognized. i was the director they had met before and oh what a good job i was doing and what wonderful work i do. i was that somebody, that difference in someone else's life, beginning to be that person i strive for. and i sat on the porch at night and said, very loudly for all to hear, that if ever there was a need i would be there in an instant. and i was. and i wanted to be. and oh lord, where does this go now, but that was the most normal thing of the week, despite being quite oppositely so. so i proceed cautiously, but with true intent.
oh dear, maree's week has been extraordinary, to say the least.