the fonz.

i've been trying to up my cool quotient since i was a kid, but have never been quite successful in being effortlessly together.

though i emulate those women who never have a single hair out of place and there are times in more recent memory that i quite nearly pull it off, you can never fully take the mara out of me. fact is, i'm an all around awkward kind of person, at times lucky enough to be still acknowledged by those around me. i say things at the wrong times and have reactions that even make me ask wtf in retrospect. i'd like to think that at times i cover well, with stupid jokes, and a childish sense of cuteness that i will use to my advantage to distract from the actual truth. actually, it's not always that i'm awkward, but that i make other people feel awkward in my presense. by myself, i'm usually quite comfortable in my oddness, quite oblivious to anything outside of my world. i make up songs and sing loudly to myself, i speak in nonsense words and sounds, and talk to my dog as though he understands it, i make screwed up faces both on purpose and not, and dare i not mention what my sister finds especially hilarious--i insist on talking in the most serious of manners about the most menial of things without even realizing it. but out in the social world it is another story. in the words of paulie bleeker--i try really hard.